The Real Deal Joo Date




So I finally went on another date over the holiday weekend. Of course it being Christmas I am went out with a Jew. This was a hookup through the family, a friend of a friend of my sister-in-law. She met her at some party and apparently the girl was actively seeking jewish men. I didn’t get the greatest reviews from my brother and sister. My brother said she was average, and my sister said she was just okay. I decided to go for it anyways... Out of boredom I suppose. I didn’t call the girl for at least two weeks after I got the number but she called me back in a flash. Stinks of desperation, eh…




We talked on the phone for a solid 35 minutes. She seemed pretty interesting actually… well educated, and well traveled at the very least. I am not sure what we bullshitted about because it was aways back but it was pretty good phone conversation. I will cut to the chase on this one. I met her at a Morroccan restaurant on the Upper East Side. The place was pretty chill. I would definitely take another girl back there some time.




She looked alright after all. But then again I had a Grey Goose on the rocks before she got there and the place was definitely dimly lit. She was atleast better than I expected after talking to my family members. Maybe they caught her on a bad day. So the date started and we chit chatting about this and that. I was actually having fun. Smooth Sailing so to speak. But not for long… Things got really bad really quickly when the topic turned to religion. Apparently this girl has recently found religion. VOMIT!! We are talking about keeping kosher, studying torah, going to temple on Shabbat, and in general being an observant Joo. She went on and on for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I told her flat out I won’t knock it but I am not at all in to it. After that there wasn’t much to say. I got the check and that’s all she wrote…

Why the long face?




I went on another date this week. It was okay. It was this RIG I talked to for awhile on OkCupid… Too long if you ask me. I find when you bullshit too long online it starts to drag on and by the time you go on the date you just want to get over with it. I have to admit I was a little excited though. This girl seemed genuinely interesting, and her pictures were decent. None of those from the neck up pics hiding large body types. She was tall and thin. This is not to say there are other ways of tricking people in to thinking you are good looking. This girl used angling.



She had a long face probably much like mine. It was long and looked like a half moon. She wore classes which was kind of cute but slid all the way down her nose reminding me of a grandma or some dorky secretary. That aside she seemed like a nice enough girl. She was the artsy fartsy type but not at all like a trendy hipster, more hippyish but kind of dorky, and into political shit. She had a variety of interesting hobbies including art, writing, and playing the guitar.



We had a somewhat awkward meeting. One of those not too comfortable hello hugs. I met her in some trendy bar called Dip. It was alright. The drinks were overpriced and the bartenders shot pourer fell into my drink and I didn’t realize until half-way through. It was a nice ice breaker as we both had a good laugh about it. I ended up keeping it for my apartment. We made small talk for awhile and then ended up going over to Rodeo Bar for something to eat.



Dinner was fun and we talked about a lot of random shit. She put down three drinks (2 G&T’s and a pint of beer) on a Wednesday. That was pretty impressive… to me atleast. Towards the end of the date I noticed some sort of vocal tick. It was much like a cracked voice but different. Her voice would get higher towards the end of a sentence. It just sounded really nerdy and eventually started to annoy me. Luckily that was on the tail end of the date. The date was not so bad but not so great either. But then again mid-week dates tend to be a little tamer, so maybe I’ll give it a shot again. If so I will keep you posted.

Rugby Guinness Chick

It’s been awhile since I have written but I am back in the mix again. FYI – I never called the med student back. When it comes down to it I think she was kind of boring and that it would be tough to date someone with her schedule. Before I get into my most recent story I do have an
interesting story to report. The weekend of Thanksgiving I was hanging out in the city, and I decided to go meet some friends to watch some college basketball. My friend Craig went to KU and basketball is huge there, and the bar, the Backpage happens to be a big KU hangout. The crowd was rowdy and pretty into the game. I showed up pretty wasted and got rowdy with the best of them. I even had my own KU sticker.

Anyways, during the game I started talking to this one girl. I told her I went to KU, and she bought it for a bit. Then later on I confessed that I actually went to Cornell. She was pissed but impressed that I went there. I was pretty sloshed and just really joking around and being an idiot, not at all taking this girl seriously. The game was pretty close and the crowd was pretty into it. The game was close down to the wire, but the Jayhawks eeeeked out a win. The crowd went wild and out of nowhere this chick starts making out with me.

We all left to go back to my place to chill, and this crazy girl leaves a whole table full of friends to come back with me. No complaints there. She was nothing to write home to mom about. Okay at best. Craig claims she was a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. With at least ten beers in my system my internal gauge was completely nonexistent. Hey its all good. Not so hot girls need lovin’ too!! We had some fun, she left in the middle of the night and I haven’t heard from her since.

Okay. On to the most recent developments… On Friday, I want on a date with a R.I.G. AKA Random Internet Girl. This girl is the first girl I have gone out with from online in a couple of months, and the first chick from that website OkCupid. This site is just OK. So far the turn around on finding a chick that is cool to getting out with her is really slow. My theory is that because this site is free there is no urgency to go out on a date right away. When people are paying for it they most likely want to get their money’s worth.

I talked to this girl for awhile before we finally made it out. She was a local chick born, raised, and still living in Queens. She seemed like a pretty cool and funny chick from our conversations. And to top it off she is a multi talented artist. She is a graphic designer, does lighting and sets for theatre, creates pottery, and plays the drum in a bagpipe band!! Pretty wild right. The coolest thing by far though, is that she was the tour manager for Ratdog for one of their tours. I’m not the the biggest Ratdog fan, but you all know I love all those jambands, and followed Phish around for awhile, so I totally respect this.

Sounds pretty good right? But of course there is a downside. Her pictures were not bad. She looked cute and had red hair which I dig every now and again. Then again the pictures were just from the chest up. When I met her I got to see the big picture. No pun intended. She had the linebacker body type. She wasn’t necessarily fat but just really tall, stocky, and big boned and looked like she played rugby or field hockey. I wasn’t about to run away. She seemed cool so I went forward with the date. Plus that’s totally skeezy if I did go. I’m a nice guy and I don’t do that.

The girl seemed super low maintenance and was content to meet in some Irish pub in mid-town, the most boring part of Manhattan. She even suggested the pub, McNeil’s, where she playing in an Irish folk band here and there. It was too crowded so we ended up going to Keat’s. This girl was Irish through and through. Over the course of the date she must have put down at least 4 pints of Guinness (6 pints total). One alone is like having a meal. I tried to keep up but switched to a lighter beer after two. Naturally, the drunker I get, the cooler she seems, and less I notice that she could probably kick my ass. Mid-date I actually noticed her forearms were bigger than mine and that scared me.

Aside from that it was pretty fun. I know I got super drunk and my judgement was impaired but she was very chill, and had a lot interesting things to talk about. We even broached taboo first date subjects like ex’s, drug use and sex. I suggested maybe we go do something else but we ended up just going to another bar. I was not to far away from my office and took her up there to use the bathroom after she had complained about the bar bathroom. After that we hopped split a cab home, and made out for a little bit.

All in all the date was not so bad. I had fun with her but I am not sure how attracted I was to her. Not sure what I will do about it as I can’t really see myself dating her but I wouldn’t mind a little fun with her. Good news is I have another date coming up. I was actually going to see her this weekend but I lost my phone in the cab on the way home that night.

Hopefully my next entry will be sooner than later…