The Lame Laugher
Before I recount the details of tonight’s date I just want to say a few things. The experience thus far has been pretty cool. The dates have been far from perfect but I have met some interesting people and had some cool experiences. A lot of you may have read the last entry and wonder to yourselves "Wow, that was perfect. He must have found someone pretty cool." She was cool, but I am leaving some stuff out because she has access to this blog. Like I said last blog it was a bad idea and I will be for sure never doing again. I am not sure how to come clean to the readers at this point but I plan on eventually bringing to light some of the details I left out.
On a side note, I bumped into Bait & Switch in my sisters building today. She happens to live there. And I am here crashing for the week. It was pretty random but not too awkward or anything. She kind of sucked, and looked even worse when she wasn't prettied up for a date. I am still wowed by how she doesn't look remotely anything like her pictures online. The great news is both her and Serial Dater have outstanding student loans that I can consolidate through my side job, which means I get to make some money off this whole dating thing. And I thought this was going to be a financial drain. When I was trying to sell the Bait & Switch the other morning, she wanted to put it out there, that she just wanted to be friends, and I laughed. She didn't hear me because we were on IM. I just want to make the sale. Things are different with Serial Dater. She is actually a pretty cool chick I will probably want to hang with some more at some point.
Well I guess, it is time to talk about tonight's date. Going on so many dates is proving to be harder than I expected. It is exhausting. Not only have I had to come up with something cool and different to do each time, I am almost guaranteed to be doing some (possibly heavy) drinking, spending cash, and constantly chatting. Silence on a first date is bad in my humble opinion. Tonight, I got an easy break. I was trying to think of something cool to do but we changed meeting locations last minute. This was also convenient because she was late and I got to take a 30 minute power nap.
I met her in Grand Central. I was surprised to find she looked better than her picture online. I had a cup of tea with me and some dude rushed by and knocked it all over me. I played it off pretty cool though, and made her laugh about the whole thing. We made pretty good conversation. I ended up taking her to the Rio Grande. We sat for drinks but ended up having a light dinner, if you want to call it that. She ordered a White Zinfandel. Strike 1. This is my mom's favorite drink. I had a margarita which was not too bad compared to the one from last date. We decide to order a veggie quesadilla, as she is a vegetarian. I guess there's nothing wrong with that. I am a fan of the vegetables. After not too long we finish both the food and drinks. She says she is not hungry but continues to eat the chips and salsa. She doesn’t want another drink either. I double check. Strike 2. Man, if I was a chick going on all these dates I would guzzling all the drinks possible if someone else was buying. Personally, I like to drink so I would only hope my counterpart would like to do the same. A drunk date usually makes for a fun date.
The conversation was was still pretty good, and she seemed like a real nice and sweet girl but it is clear to me she is kind of boring, tame, and in general lame. To top it off, as she got tipsier off her single glass of white zin, it was apparent she had this dorky annoying laugh. On paper, it is hard to recreate, but it was something like the girliest "A-huh, A-huh, A-huh!" you ever heard. Strike 3. From there on out, I tried to be a little less funny. I got off the hook easy though. This one was short and sweet. After that, she bought some us italian ices for desert for a whopping three smackeroos. That was cool. I felt like I was 8 again for a bit. She had plans to go hang with her sister, who was staying at the Waldorf, so I walked to over and gave her a hug goodnight.
Easy date. It actually gave me some time to lay the groundwork for tomorrow’s date. I am trying my hardest not to be super psyched for this. We’ve had multiple positive exchanges online and on the phone. We have similar musical tastes, she seems like she can party, and she seems cool and funny but I know there is something wrong with her. There is something wrong with all of them. I feel like I am Deuce Bigalow or some shit. I am a "He-Bitch" out on dates with all these freakish women. In fact, I am coming up with a mid-date back-out plan, that will be a component of all my dates from here on out.
Before I recount the details of tonight’s date I just want to say a few things. The experience thus far has been pretty cool. The dates have been far from perfect but I have met some interesting people and had some cool experiences. A lot of you may have read the last entry and wonder to yourselves "Wow, that was perfect. He must have found someone pretty cool." She was cool, but I am leaving some stuff out because she has access to this blog. Like I said last blog it was a bad idea and I will be for sure never doing again. I am not sure how to come clean to the readers at this point but I plan on eventually bringing to light some of the details I left out.
On a side note, I bumped into Bait & Switch in my sisters building today. She happens to live there. And I am here crashing for the week. It was pretty random but not too awkward or anything. She kind of sucked, and looked even worse when she wasn't prettied up for a date. I am still wowed by how she doesn't look remotely anything like her pictures online. The great news is both her and Serial Dater have outstanding student loans that I can consolidate through my side job, which means I get to make some money off this whole dating thing. And I thought this was going to be a financial drain. When I was trying to sell the Bait & Switch the other morning, she wanted to put it out there, that she just wanted to be friends, and I laughed. She didn't hear me because we were on IM. I just want to make the sale. Things are different with Serial Dater. She is actually a pretty cool chick I will probably want to hang with some more at some point.
Well I guess, it is time to talk about tonight's date. Going on so many dates is proving to be harder than I expected. It is exhausting. Not only have I had to come up with something cool and different to do each time, I am almost guaranteed to be doing some (possibly heavy) drinking, spending cash, and constantly chatting. Silence on a first date is bad in my humble opinion. Tonight, I got an easy break. I was trying to think of something cool to do but we changed meeting locations last minute. This was also convenient because she was late and I got to take a 30 minute power nap.
I met her in Grand Central. I was surprised to find she looked better than her picture online. I had a cup of tea with me and some dude rushed by and knocked it all over me. I played it off pretty cool though, and made her laugh about the whole thing. We made pretty good conversation. I ended up taking her to the Rio Grande. We sat for drinks but ended up having a light dinner, if you want to call it that. She ordered a White Zinfandel. Strike 1. This is my mom's favorite drink. I had a margarita which was not too bad compared to the one from last date. We decide to order a veggie quesadilla, as she is a vegetarian. I guess there's nothing wrong with that. I am a fan of the vegetables. After not too long we finish both the food and drinks. She says she is not hungry but continues to eat the chips and salsa. She doesn’t want another drink either. I double check. Strike 2. Man, if I was a chick going on all these dates I would guzzling all the drinks possible if someone else was buying. Personally, I like to drink so I would only hope my counterpart would like to do the same. A drunk date usually makes for a fun date.
The conversation was was still pretty good, and she seemed like a real nice and sweet girl but it is clear to me she is kind of boring, tame, and in general lame. To top it off, as she got tipsier off her single glass of white zin, it was apparent she had this dorky annoying laugh. On paper, it is hard to recreate, but it was something like the girliest "A-huh, A-huh, A-huh!" you ever heard. Strike 3. From there on out, I tried to be a little less funny. I got off the hook easy though. This one was short and sweet. After that, she bought some us italian ices for desert for a whopping three smackeroos. That was cool. I felt like I was 8 again for a bit. She had plans to go hang with her sister, who was staying at the Waldorf, so I walked to over and gave her a hug goodnight.
Easy date. It actually gave me some time to lay the groundwork for tomorrow’s date. I am trying my hardest not to be super psyched for this. We’ve had multiple positive exchanges online and on the phone. We have similar musical tastes, she seems like she can party, and she seems cool and funny but I know there is something wrong with her. There is something wrong with all of them. I feel like I am Deuce Bigalow or some shit. I am a "He-Bitch" out on dates with all these freakish women. In fact, I am coming up with a mid-date back-out plan, that will be a component of all my dates from here on out.
posted by Beezus H Christ at 12:22 PM
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